World Prematurity Day: Do you believe in miracles?

As many of you probably know, today is World Prematurity Day.

Today one of my dear friends Emily is sharing her story about her daughter's fight and how her faith was reaffirmed throughout their journey. I'd love for you to read her family's incredible story; she and her husband are some of the kindest people we know. To think that we were just at Anna Kate's 3rd birthday party back in October is truly a miracle.

To Church or not to Church

Integrating faith and religion into daily life can be a tricky thing. I, for one, believe very strongly that the way you are raised with regards to faith plays a huge role in your life and faith journey. I grew up in a home where we were exposed to various religions, partially because my mom and dad's families practiced different traditions and partially because I went to school where there was also religious diversity. While I was personally raised in the Christian faith, I felt like I had a lot of freedom to explore my own beliefs. I will never forget the Christmas Eve that I refused to attend services. I was about 14 or 15 and thought I'd try a little teenage rebellion on for size. And shockingly, my mom didn't protest at all. She said "okay, that's fine, we'll be back for dinner." So the entire family loaded up into my grandmother's Buick station wagon and headed off to the beautiful candlelit service in my grandparents' quaint, rural Church. The second the taillights disappeared down the street, I knew I had made a mistake. I had tested a boundary and "won," yet I hadn't won at all. It was a defining moment in my personal faith journey, as I think it was the moment I realized that I actually got something out of Church and wanted - no, needed - to be there.

The husband, on the other hand, was more or less forced to go to Church (or this is what I am told). There wasn't necessarily a lot of leeway or freedom when it came to issues of attending Church. What's interesting is that the moment he left home for college, he pretty much refused to go. It actually took me several years of encouraging harassing him to convince him that Church could be a wonderful thing. And now we've found a Church that we both love and are involved in, and it has definitely enriched our lives in multiple ways. Our Sunday school class has become an integral part of our life, and for that I am grateful.

But now we also have a toddler, which means making decisions about how to handle these issues with our children. My current worry is whether we are doing a disservice by bringing Thatcher straight to the nursery when we get to Church. Other than Christmas Eve and Christmas, Thatcher hasn't attended "big Church" since he was an infant. Now, in all fairness, he is a very sweet but incredibly wild toddler. He does not sit still, he does not sit on laps, and he does not like to be contained. He also talks. A lot. And loudly. So on the one hand, I feel like it would be disrespectful and rude to attempt to contain him in Church when he's much happier running around at Sunday school. But on the other, I wonder if we should have higher expectations of him and teach him how to behave in Church. And if not now, when? I don't have any recollections of sitting anywhere in Church besides a pew, so I keep meaning to ask my mom if she brought us into "big Church" from a young age or if we ever went to the nursery.

I keep telling myself that when he is a little older and can talk, we can explain things to him in a way that he might understand. But when exactly is the right time? I don't want him to think that we go to Church just to go play with Miss Jennifer and our friends, though fellowship is certainly part of the equation (after all, I like seeing my friends at Church). I want him to understand why we are there. I am actually slightly jealous of the toddlers that will sit happily on their mom's lap for the duration of the service or - at the very least - through the children's message. I am a lot of things, but I am not delusional when it comes to Thatcher's personality, and asking him to sit in Church right now would be akin to asking an ostrich to fly. We'd all end up frustrated and miss half the service.

How do you all handle this? Do you take a firm stance of "we all go to Church together, end of story" (well, in a nicer way!) or do you think that it takes some kids longer to be "ready" for Church? I am trying to be realistic and not force anything, as I feel like that is when some people get turned off by religion (and I don't want it to be frustrating for Thatcher), but at the same time I want to make sure our children are exposed to Church so that they can reap the many benefits of it as well.

I am also curious about other ways of integrating faith into daily life with a toddler. Thatcher has a lift the flap Bible that he loves, as well as a bedtime Bible, but when else are you all talking to your toddlers about this? I am really curious to get other thoughts and perspectives on this! My ultimate goal in all of this (irrelevant of Church attendance) is to raise children who are faithful servants and stewards of their God-given gifts. So where does one start with that?!?!

prayer hands

A while back I saw this idea on The Parker Family blog. Essentially, you trace your children's hands every year and decide on a prayer for the coming year. It could be relevant to their age, a stage they are going through or just a hope you have for them. I absolutely loved the idea and thought that it would be a fun thing to do at each birthday. Then, when they are older, they have a collection of the specific prayers you had for them. I mean, I am pretty sure I will be a bawling mess by the time Thatcher or any of our unborn children are 18, headed to college and I am looking back at these.

Look at these precious 1 year old hands. I love that they are smudged and not at all perfect. I love that they remind me of the mini battle we had just to get this project accomplished.

At this point in his life, his little personality is slowly emerging. Each day he becomes more of the individual he was created to be. I want him to always remember that even before he was born, he was Thatcher. He is special and unique and has a set of gifts that are his alone. As his parent, I feel strongly that it is my responsibility to encourage these gifts and be supportive of them, regardless of what they may be. This idea is a central tenant of one of my favorite chapters in one of my favorite books Praying the Scriptures for Your Children

Basically, the point is that we, as parents, should see the positive side of our children's behavior even when it's challenging. The reason being that their behavior (not misbehavior, an important distinction) is often a manifestation of their precious God given gifts. I just love this idea, and the author uses the following example:

"Next time your 4th grader puts off doing his homework so he can entertain your friend’s preschool-aged children when she stops by for a visit, thank God for giving him the gift of service. And when your 12 year old fails to come home on time for dinner because he was talking with the recently widowed gentleman who lives up the street, bear in mind that he may have the gift of mercy."

So at the tender age of 1, I really hope that I remember to do my part in encouraging these gifts in Thatcher. When he opens the same drawer in the kitchen for the 39th time to grab a sippy cup and run away giggling, I hope I remember that he has the beautiful gift of playfulness and humor rather than worrying about the fact that I just.emptied.that.clean.cup.from.the.darn.dishwasher!!! And I pray that he will always see his strengths as gifts as well.

why I blog

I've been reading lots of posts lately about Jon Acuff and how his thoughts on social media have really affected the way many of my favorite mom bloggers think. There's the whole struggle of making, not forcing, memories (i.e. do we really need to take pictures of every single moment in our child's life, especially if the only thought running through our mind is "this would be great blog content!"). And then there's the time we spend reading, writing and responding to blog posts while a hungry toddler pulls on our legs (and we've all thought "up from your nap already?!?! I was just getting settled on the couch to catch up on blogs!") Of course, it's also hard to not play the keeping-up-with-the-mommy-blog-Joneses game ("Ugh, I want her kitchen" or "ugh, why does she get to stay home" or "ugh, her husband is so romantic"). This whole blogging thing is just so complicated sometimes.

There are lots of reasons why I personally choose to blog. I'd be lying if I said that there weren't moments where I probably should have been doing something other than blogging (cooking dinner, talking to the husband, cleaning the house - the list goes on), but for me, blogging is free therapy. And so much more.

I love documenting our family's life, and in an age where so much is digital, it's just easier to record milestones and random memories online. It's an easy way to keep friends and family members in the loop without constantly spamming them - if you want to know what Thatcher is up to, read the blog. If not, don't. Either way, the option is theirs.

But the real reason I come back to blogging again and again is for connectivity and friendship. More specifically, I think it's so important and therapeutic to realize that we're not alone in this life. We are not the only ones trying to figure out how to get our toddler to eat finger food or make the transition from bottle to sippy cup. We are not the only ones struggling with working or staying at home mom guilt or trying to make time for friends, our marriage and family all in one day. And, when we're facing something painful, we are not alone in that either. Whatever we're grappling with, someone else has walked that road before. The challenge is that we can't always find these people among our "real life" friends, which is why I think so many of us find solace in blogging.

This really hit me yesterday when I received an email from another blogger's husband. Without getting too specific, he said, "I would like to thank you for all the support you have given my wife ...... Your conversations with her about her recent misfortunes help her through these tough times. Our family is truly indebted to you and we appreciate your support." Wow.

I have often wondered what God would think about blogging. Does He think that sometimes we're too focused on the screen and not enough on our family? Does He want us to spend more time offline? Yesterday I decided that no, no He does not. He created blogging as another means of ministry, a way to connect with and support other human beings. Of course, I think there is a limit to this and we shouldn't be buried in our computers all the time. That said, I can truly say that I have received a lot of support, guidance and uplifting prayer from other bloggers. It has been an outlet for me when my day-to-day friends were in a totally different place than me. Friendship is sacred to me, and I value every single one of my friends for who they are and where they are in life. But the reality is that sometimes we're walking a road or thinking about something that no one we know can relate to. And I think that's where blogging can be a really beautiful and wonderful thing.

I was humbled by the email I received yesterday, and it was almost as if I felt like blogging had a much bigger purpose. A piece of scripture I sent to another blogger prompted a response from her husband. To me, that is reason enough to continue to spend time blogging.

The littlest blessings

I don't know if it's because the calendar hit February and I am an emotional mess about it being Thatcher's birthday month or what, but this morning I am feeling so overwhelmed with love for our little one and thankful for the journey of the past year. I was thinking about blogging about paint colors for the new house this morning, but that feels so ridiculous and trivial for some reason. All of a sudden it just hit me that we have been blessed beyond measure. And I don't mean in the big, obvious ways, though we've got a lot to be thankful for in that sense, too. We have two fabulous jobs, a house under contract, an adorable little boy, a Church that we love and lots of supportive family and friends. With everything going on, it is easy to forget about and miss the little blessings. And those are what I am most grateful for today.

The perfect sound of a newborn's first cry

10 tiny fingers and 10 tiny toes

Being able to take our baby for walks in the fresh air

Watching all of the milestones: smiles, laughs, first solids, sitting up, walking

Dipping our baby's toes in the ocean

Reading a book together on the couch

Little chunky legs running all over the house

When we're caught up in the busyness of life, it's easy to take all of the little things for granted. No one is guaranteed a perfect pregnancy or healthy baby (or anything else for that matter), yet sometimes I know I am guilty of falling into the trap of believing that we should all just get married, have a few babies when we want them, decorate some nurseries and go on with life. And for some people it does happen like that. But if only it were that easy for everyone. It reminds me of that quote "If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back!"

So today I feel undeservingly grateful for the littlest blessings in our life, which are not little at all. When I stop and think about it, they are actually the biggest blessings we have.

Source: images.search.yahoo.com via HappinessIs on Pinterest